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Learning Bikini Confidence

with NLPerform

· Body Image

Thank you Camilla from NLPerform for this great post.

 

I think we’ve all seen the meme about how to get a bikini body.Put a bikini on it… and voila you’ve got a bikini body. I’m contesting that as utter BS.If you’ve ever felt less than confident leading up to a holiday, or ever-so-slightly freaked out at the thought of the sun coming out, you’ll feel this.Bikini confidence is something that, **poof** you’re magically expected to have after seeing some meme. As if reading the words “just put a bikini on it” could transform you into feeling comfortable, sexy and attractive in your bikini.Whether you have a lean body, one with small boobs, one with more curves or one with stretch marks there are a multitude of potential reasons you may not feel bikini confidence.There is however a process that you can follow to gain your bikini confidence.I’ll be walking you through that right here so stay tuned.

 

What is Bikini Confidence and Where to Start?

I always like to start, with all of my coaching clients, with the end in mind.Because I 100% believe that if you don’t know where you’re going the attempts in reaching that destination will be foiled.So before we get into what you can do about increasing your bikini confidence to strut out on that beach, and be a great role model, we need to define exactly what bikini confidence is.

  • The ability to put on a bikini with an inner sense and belief that “i’m ok” and “my size/shape/stretch marks don’t define me”
  • The knowledge that no one is judging you for your bikini body (and if they are their opinion is irrelevant and more a sign of how they view themselves, not you)
  • Awareness that you only have one body, it’s carried you through life and served you well so if you want to wear a bikini to get a tan so be it
  • Belief that your body hasn’t got to look a certain way to be accepted on a beach in public
  • Understanding the beauty of your unique body in its glory

There are so many reasons that bikini confidence is utterly shattered in so many women.I won’t begin to unpack that here (there’s another blog for that). I will however show you how to begin to change it.

 

Bikini Confidence is on a sliding scale
 

At one end you’ve got the person who covers his/herself up in the biggest, baggiest clothes in the slweltering heat of summer. So that she can not expose one more centimetre of skin that is necessary.

 

At the other end you’ve got the person who’s happy in herself on the beach (or wherever) in her bikini.She doesn’t cover her body with drapes, cover ups or arms as she moves and she can get up play, move and have fun without thinking “what is everyone thinking”.

 

And then all the way in between you have a variety of ways in which that can show up.A great friend and client of mine admitted that the summer after she’d had her third child she hadn’t played with her other two girls on the beach all summer.

She used the excuse that she had to care for the youngest when in fact she knew it was because she was ashamed of her body and the weight she’d gained over her pregnancy and after while breast feeding.She came to change and here’s the steps you can use to do the very same thing.

Your Steps to Unlocking your Bikini Confidence

  1. Notice where you are on the sliding scale of confidence with your body. Because dependent upon where you are will highlight what options are best for you, your goal and your lifestyle as it is.
  2. Define exactly where you’re going.Is it important for you to be able to play volley ball in a cheeky bikini or more be able to feel and look confident on a beach in front of your kids/partner?Again, the place in which you’re headed will also have an influence on how you’re going to get there.
  3. Determine the “how” behind how you’re going to get there.I’ve prepared a list to inspire you with the ways in which you can do this.Pick a couple that work for you, where you’re coming from and where you’re going. Or add your own. If you think of something that’s not on the list I’d love for you to get in touch.

Inspiration for ‘HOW’

  • Get a bikini that you really really love and want to wear. And holds you in at all the right places. I love Mermaid In England; partly for their quality, their mission but mostly for their colour changing bikinis. They’re so intriguing that you may forget feeling shy.
  • Put on that bikini and walk around the house in it, then get into the garden.Like you’d wear in a pair of shoes, doing the same in your bikini can really help.
  • Practice ditching your guilt & shame around food. Because tweaking your relationship with food and exercise will have huge positive consequences for how you feel about your body.
  • Practice being kind to yourself and notice any negative self talk.
  • Get on a beach and slowly, perhaps day by day or week by week, use less cover ups so the whole ‘being half naked in public’ isn’t such a shock to your system.
  • Practice eating slowly and hydration well so that your body isn’t bloated and feels it’s best.
  • Surround yourself with like minded women who are all building their confidence and relationship around food. I organise #moderationmindsetbrunches in Bristol for this very reason.To create a safe space for women to explore, share and inspire each other to be confident, powerful and empowered.

Bikini Confidence is more than looking at a meme

 

You know that, you feel it, you understand that you can’t simply look at that meme and feel comfortable and confident in your bikini. That’s because of years of practice telling yourself that you’re not ‘enough’ or ‘deserving’ of wearing a bikini. Or perhaps you even fear being judged for not looking like the media representations of the female form.

 

Let me re-confirm as we finish that that norm is all about angles, photoshop and genetics.

 

But you can have bikini confidence, it’s your right and requirement to be confident. So that you can enjoy your summer and vacations as well as role model for your small people – kids, nieces, nephews.

 

You don’t have to be 100% ok in a bikini straight away – you’re on a sliding scale. SO make progress towards the confidence that you’d love to feel.

I have a 5 day video series that, if you’re resonated with this blog, will provide you will value. It will guide you through my process fo defining where you want to go, determining how you’re going to get there. Detecting obstacles and then deciding to do it. Hope to see you there!

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